perfidy

The original meaning of the greek root aristoi.

My initial impressions, gathered over almost a week, is that fatherhood involves taking naps whenever the baby is asleep, and doing whatever Mrs. Buckethead tells me to do. Occassionally, I get to hold the baby. The only problem arises when I am instructed to do several things, but given no guidance on how to prioritize these tasks. Nevertheless, I am adapting. When I pause for a moment to consider the glories of fatherhood, the sublime joy of holding my son, I am usually interrupted before I get too sappy about everything. This is probably for the best.

The details:

John Christian was born at 12:37pm on Sunday, May 4 (Quatro de Mayo! Yeah!) and on arrival weighed in at 7lbs, 12oz. He is 20 inches long. If you need metric, screw you, I'm busy. After a remarkably easy labor (Mrs. Buckethead's first comment after JC arrived: "That wasn't so bad.") John slid into the world; messy, purple and coneheaded. These problems soon corrected themselves, and now my mom says he's cuter than I was. Obviously, mom is adapting to grandmotherhood with frightening speed. Since getting home from the hospital on Tuesday, we've been in a fugue state, never quite aware of the time or date, and all activities subject to the whim of my son's digestive system (inbound or outbound or both.)

Nevertheless, I can report with absolute confidence that my son is remarkably advanced; mentally, physically and spiritually. My baby can kick your baby's ass. No, seriously. Belinda will probably not be happy with that last thought, so I will sign off before I get in more trouble. I'll will return to a semi-regular posting schedule as a return to work middle of next week.

In the meantime, here are some thoughts on the last week's posts:

Smoking bans suck, and are completely unjustifiable on any grounds. However, if you smoke around my baby, I'll kick your ass.

Johno is correct in his assessment of the RIAA. If they crash my computer while I'm trying to bid on a Baby Bjorn baby carrier (porta bebe in spanish. heh.) on Ebay, I'll kick their ass.

Ghoulardi broadcast from Cleveland, CBS channel 8. Disagree, and I'll kick your ass.

Johno's biography would run to 37 pages, double spaced in 16 point courier new. Mine would be 42 pages. But that's only because I'm older. Mike's would be 142 pages, but only because he's got to fit all that Marxist dialectical bullshit in. I won't kick his ass, because I can't.

Looks like the NYT has gone through a typical learning curve on the Museum looting. They did a similar phreak out on the melting polar cap a while ago. "Its gone!" "Well, a lot of its gone!" Well, Its not really gone at all, sorry." I should kick their ass.

I want the military to return to its proper research direction - more than lethal weapons. Then they can kick ass.

France. Oil. Heh.

Minutemen kicked ass, that's why PC brigades (brigades - what a military term.) are afraid of them. How about another contest: Most unPC team mascots. You must connect your mascot to a specific college or high school. It must offend at least one protected victim group, preferably all. (Like the "Nuke a gay whale for jesus" bumper stickers.) It should make full use of stereotypes, slurs, and slander. Bonus category: make unPC mascots for groups not necessarily considered victim groups. These should follow the same pattern as the regular entries. Prize is getting your ass kicked, and a lollipop. Heh.

this comment thread (from my comment on Pilgrim's Progress and Uncle Tom's Cabin) and haul it onto the main page:

Two-Cents:
Why is that a bad thing? UTC was the best-selling novel in American history. Be careful. You might own the fields of politics, political philosophy, military history, space, technology, and modern jurisprudence, but if you're talking about women in 19th century US culture, you're in MY house.

Buckethead:

The weekly world news is the eighth largest circulating newspaper in the world.

Two-Cents:

What is your problem with Uncle Tom's Cabin? Not to pull a moral-relativism move here, but it was hot shit back in the day. I've read it. I see the problems with it, seen from today's perspective. But honestly, why is it a not-great book?

I mention its sales figures, not by way of measuring its worth as literature, but as a way of measuring its effect on the world, and its success in encapsulating the key debates of its time.

Remember what Lincoln said to Harriet Beecher Stowe when he met her: "So you're the little lady who's caused all these big problems." More than being a literary triumph, UTC was an important cultural landmark. It better have been, because as a piece of writing it's not so hot. Talk about turgid! Innocent blonde babies, a Christ like black protagonist, the evil slaveowners! Everyone's a cartoon.

But, as I say, it was a cultural watershed. Stowe, who was obviously an abolitionist, took all the polemics of Garrison and his group and fit them into the acceptable framework of a suitably dewy romantic novel. It's not the writing that made this book great-- it was that Stowe in one fell swoop collected and restated all the tenets of radical abolitionism, with the internal contradictions nicely papered over, in a way that was eminently palatable for nineteenth-century audiences.

Moral 'suason wasn't generally as effective as people think. But, this is one instance in which it was a thundering success. Regardless of its dated-ness and its shortcomings, it's a "great novel," even more so because it can teach an alert reader so much about the United States in the pre-Civil War era.

Buckethead:

But, as I say, it was a cultural watershed. Gibson, who was obviously a dystopian, took all the ideas of Bester, Brunner and their group and fit them into the acceptable framework of a suitably dewy sf novel. It's not the writing that made this book great-- it was that Gibson in one fell swoop collected and restated all the tenets of radical futurists, with the internal contradictions nicely papered over, in a way that was eminently palatable for late twentieth-century audiences.

This relates to an earlier conversation, the difference between importance and greatness. Neuromancer was fun, but I don't think it was a great novel. As the first cyberpunk novel, it is important, at least within the genre. UTC was important to America and the world, and it is a useful source for studying early nineteenth century America. But it isn't a great novel. It's an important novel. It's a cultural watershed.
Most novels teach us a lot about the time that they were written - manners and mores, fears and hopes, misconceptions, the whole deal. But only a few are great.

Thousands of dollars? Were you attacked by the scientologists as well?

The Communist Manifesto/Das Kapital duology

Battlefield Earth

Matrix
Bladerunner
Fifth Element
2001
Star Wars
Metropolis
Clockwork Orange
Terminator
Galaxy Quest
Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan (even though it rips off Run Silent, Run Deep)
Destination Moon
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
The Day the Earth Stood Still (Klaatu Barada Nikto! Gort!)
Casablanca

Casablanca belongs on any list of great movies, because it's so damn cool.

I'd start comparing Neuromancer to Pilgrim's Progress or Uncle Tom's Cabin

Another reason why Gibson is derivative. Sure, Neuromancer is a landmark book, and I very much enjoyed reading it. But Sterling and Williams are better writers. At least in their books that made the list. I'd rather read real Phillip K. Dick, or Raymond Chandler, than most Gibson. I think Shockwave Rider is better written than Neuromancer. Gibson has stylistic flair, but that's all he has. Sterling needs to write more sf, 'cause he has the mojo. 

I am willing to include Snow Crash on the list for one reason, though - by perfecting, inflating, lampooning and puncturing the cyberpunk sub-subgenre with one masterful novel, we no longer have to read stylistically derivative, politically uninformed, dystopic, carbon copy fantasies. We can ignore them. 
 

As a (low-ranking) member of the technocratic elite that rules the world, I write, among other things, software manuals, process documentation and other things that are never read by my company's clients. I have to constantly fight the temptation to introduce small inconsistencies, errors and jokes into my work. The most that I allow myself is extremely subtle irony. Maybe that temptation is similar to the need textile workers once felt to throw shoes into the apparatus.

...Pretentious

I would agree to items #a, III and four of Johnny's list. I've already explained why Snow Crash didn't make it to my list, and the same applies to Brin's Postman. I thought I, Robot sucked, three stupid suggestions for automata notwithstanding. Never read Pynchon, so can't say. However, his list reminded me of a couple other books:

• Shockwave Rider, by John Brunner
• Voice of the Whirlwind, by Walter Jon Williams If I could establish a precedence in my list, Brunner's book would be near the top. An ur-cyberpunk novel that prefigures most of the concepts later abused by Gibson and Sterling. Whirlwind is a better novel than Neuromancer. On to fantasy - my top five fantasy novels/series:
• Lord of the Rings, by some guy, think his name begins with "D"
• Freedom and Necessity, by Emma Bull and Steven Brust
• Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
• Age of Unreason, by J. Gregory Keyes
• The Earthsea Trilogy, by Ursula K. Le Guin (and I do mean trilogy) 
   

I also enjoyed The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, by Stephen Donaldson; the Belgariad by David Eddings, Riftwar, by Raymond Feist; The Silmarillion, by Tolkien; and little else. American Gods would be on this list, were it not on the other one.

On occasion, our troops may pause to wonder, "Who were those guys we just killed?" To help in that query, I'm starting a new feature where my crack research staff find all the important information you need to know about America's enemies. Our first subject: the Iraqi Republican Guard

FUN FACTS ABOUT THE IRAQI REPUBLICAN GUARD:

* The Republican Guard are so well trained, that, in a one-on-one fight with U.S. ground troops, they can last into the tens of seconds.

* The Republican Guard is supported by tanks and other hardware that, according to U.S. military experts, are fun to blow up.

* The Republican Guard are dangerous if encountered by civilians. If you see a Republican Guard, do not run; this only provokes him. Instead, stand your ground and wave your arms in the air while yelling to scare him away.

* In a fight between the Republican Guard and Aquaman, the Republican Guard would win... unless Aquaman could somehow trick them into following him into the sea.

* The Republican Guard's only natural predator is the camel. It will spit in the eyes of a Republican Guard to blind him and then swallow him whole. The shark would be another natural predator… if only Aquaman were somehow able to trick the Republican Guard into following him into the sea.

* Though many Republican Guards dress up in burkas in the privacy of their own tents, that doesn't make them gay.

* The Republican Guard were a replacement for the less successful Iraqi Democrat Guard, who would try to whine and tax their enemies into submission. Eventually Saddam became too annoyed with them and had them executed.

From IMAO

This morning, I saw a man in a Hell's Angels jacket, using a walker.

A man in a very nice suit was standing outside a Starbucks with an empty cup. I put a quarter in his cup. He was sputtering when I turned the corner.

Overheard a small child pointing at some protestors and asking her mother, "What are the strange people doing?"

My mom asked me to give her a list of my favorite science fiction novels, so that she could read them. (Bless her. The only way my dad would read a science fiction novel is if I wrote it, and even then it's a toss up. (Too focused on history. Sheesh.)) So, here is the top five list I prepared for my mom:

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein
Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein
Player of Games, by Iain Banks
The Stars My Destination, by Alfred Bester
Mote in God's Eye, by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle
The Dosadi Experiment, by Frank Herbert
Dune, by Frank Herbert
A Fire Upon the Deep, by Vernor Vinge
A Deepness in the Sky, by Vernor Vinge
Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card
Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson
Cryptonomicon, by Neil Stephenson
Sundiver, by David Brin
Startide Rising, by David Brin
Lest Darkness Fall, by L. Sprague de Camp
American Gods, by Neil Gaiman
Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Mother of Storms, by John Barnes
Killing Star, by Charles Pellegrino and George Zebroski
Doorways in the Sand, by Roger Zelazny
The Greks Bring Gifts, by Murray Leinster
Pebble in the Sky, by Isaac Asimov
The City and the Stars, by Arthur C. Clark

There are probably a couple more, but that is the core of it. The two novels by Neil Gaiman are not strictly sf, but they are very, very good. I have never been able to narrow this list down, this is about as short as I can get it. My top five list, it is large, it contains multitudes.

[Update]

It was brought to my attention over the weekend that I had foolishly left a few deserving novels off the list:

Canticle for Liebowitz, by Walter Miller
Hyperion, by Dan Simmons
The Earth Abides, by George R. Stuart

I left Stephenson's Snow Crash off the list, despite the fact that I truly love the book, because I think the other two are better, and didn't want to load up too much on any one author.

PS, we are not luddites.

An old baseball joke: A manager says his team needs just two more players to become a pennant contender. But, he says, "The players are Ruth and Gehrig."

Iraq needs only four people to achieve post-Saddam success. Unfortunately they are George Washington, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton and John Marshall.

Now that is a pessimistic conservative take on the possibilities in Iraq.

Light/no posting for several days. Buckethead, put the beer on ice, lock up the dog, and childproof the terlets: the Two-Centses are coming for a visit!

Apparently, this is not the first time Hitchens has had a run in with the police.

Hitchens' run-ins with the law have not been restricted to Sparta city limits. In May 2002, he was arrested for drunkenly singing 1930s union songs while driving a stolen riding lawnmower through the streets of Boston, where he was attending an international women's-rights conference. Hitchens accused police of "atavistic, morally reprehensible Stalinist scare tactics" before being bailed out by conference organizers the following morning.

Sounds like something A few people I know could do.

While Johno was right to point out that the paleo conservative segment of the right is unlikely to raise a ruckus about the Senator's comments, Lileks points out that the flipside is even more unlikely:

if anyone insists Santorum should suffer consequences for his speech, they are denying his First Amendment right to dissent! A chilling wind is blowing across America! If anyone disinvites him to an event, the black cloak of Ashcroftian Throat-Chokery has been draped across another dissenter! If you don't buy his book, Joe McCarthy cackles from his personal pit in hell!

Don't worry, Rick; Tim Robbins will be the first in line to support your right to speak your mind.